I constantly feel like I’m caught between loving structure and hating it, craving to be thin and craving ice cream. I’m caught between desiring a good job and wanting to be lazy, enjoying the freedom of being an adult at one moment and feeling like I’m drowning moments later.
This is the innate duality in us all to want to be a lover and a fighter, a teacher and learner, a speaker and a listener. Life is a never-ending battle for balance, a swaying, almost swinging sensation of existing and projecting, of being and doing, of conforming and expressing freely.
We want to be independent but we want to be accepted and social. We strive to be unique yet want to “fit in”. We want to be rich without working hard.
We, as humans, find ourselves in extremes, extremes of being scared and excited, envying for another’s successes and being immensely proud of them. We find ourselves being hyper yet overtired, exhausted yet exhilarated. We are determined and afraid. We speak yet we are thinking, and when we are thinking we can be speaking. We live in a mixture of our online life and reality, and we even question reality and what is real.
We’re complicated beings, constructed by society, constricted by it, dwelling in an uncomfortable space of who we want to be and who society tells us to be, what are experiences tell us to be, and how life molds us act.
It is no wonder we find ourselves in moments of uncertainty and disdain. These moments so dark that they cripple us, swallow our happiness whole and make us question the point of life.
It is in these moments where blogs like this one are important to keep in mind. This little piece of electronic musings holds some scary truths about life, about feelings, about being human. These scary truths tend to fly under the radar, leaving us with the feeling of hopelessness and as if something may be wrong with us. It is in these moments that we must remember that being human is complicated, confusing, and downright difficult. It’s a constant battle of emotions, wants, needs, and desires. But it’s a battle, a journey, that you are on with millions of people. People who are all uniquely different and whose difference in relation to you, shows you who you are and how you, yourself, are unique and beautiful in your own right. We coexist and co create with those around us, keeping this in mind makes it a little less daunting. The knowledge of being a combined people, of living in a world built on relationship, makes it a little easier to fight through the dark days to get to the pockets of laughter, the triumphs of good, and those moments where you can’t help but smile.